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The Hot Corner: Lenny Dykstra, Wild Card expansion, Christina Hendricks - Through The Fence Baseball

The Hot Corner: Lenny Dykstra, Wild Card expansion, Christina Hendricks

by Jed Rigney | Posted on Tuesday, March 6th, 2012
| 304 baseball fanatics read this article

 

The hottest topics for the week of March 4, 2012 …

During the day, fine. But did he wear them at night? (Morry Gash/AP)

The big house: Former major leaguer Lenny Dykstra was sentenced to three years in prison for grand theft auto and providing a false financial statement. His nickname while playing was “Nails” – but after a few days in prison “Nailed” will be more accurate.

Wilder cards: Major League Baseball announced it is expanding the playoffs to 10 teams. “Just 20 more and we are in,” said the Baltimore Orioles.

Repeat offender: The Indians’ oft-injured outfielder Grady Sizemore is hurt and will miss two to three months. He was diagnosed with being Grady Sizemore.

Never surrender: Brewers’ outfielder Corey Hart hurt his knee and will need surgery … It’s not surprising. This is what happens when you go around wearing your sunglasses at night.

The eyes have it: New Pirate A.J. Burnett underwent orbital socket surgery and will miss two to three months after bunting a ball off his face. So, I guess you could say he was keeping his eye on the ball. Boom! This is too easy.

Bailing out: The New York Mets stadium revenues are down 30 percent since 2009. That sucks. But at least it’s better than their stadium’s sponsor CitiCorp – whose stock price is down 30 million percent since 2009.

Prognosis negative: The Mets’ Ike Davis was diagnosed with valley fever. Symptoms of which include coughing blood, chest pains, night sweats and fatigue – very similar to Bieber Fever.

Beantown beatdown: In a practice game against Northeastern University, the Red Sox won 25-0 … If this were the Rockies, Bobby Valentine would get one of those Jim Tracy-like infinite extensions.

Budget cuts: Yankees plan to lower payroll in the near future to avoid the luxury tax … What’s next?  Getting rid of the assistant to the assistant traveling secretary?!

More Yankees: Sure, they want to stop spending, and, yes, the first step is admitting you have a problem. But my guess is these guys go back to their ways faster than Nic Cage to a crappy action film.

Extra Innings

Bounty-gate: According to a report from the NFL, the New Orleans Saints had a bounty pool to reward knocking opposing players out of games for the last three years – and, once again, FEMA did nothing!

In theaters now: The Lorax, featuring Zac Efron as a cute boy, Taylor Swift as a pretty girl and Danny DeVito as a short, furry creature that cares about the environment, made $70 million … the highest opening weekend ever for a documentary film.

No kids allowed: J.K. Rowling announced that her next book is just for adults. For now, it’s called “Harold Potter and the Crippling Mortgage and Loveless Marriage.”

Thanks for the mammaries: Nude photos of the voluptuous Christina Hendricks were leaked to the Internet after her phone was hacked. How can something be a crime if it helps so many people?

Contributors: Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Brian Solari, Stephen Arenholtz, Justin Workman

Post By Jed Rigney (188 Posts)

Jed Rigney covers general baseball randomness for Through The Fence Baseball. His work has been described as "prolific" (which isn't really a compliment). Despite a series of destructive relationships with uncaring women, he has persevered. He is an Aries and therefore quite courageous. He has never been arrested (though he was once "detained" briefly). And he hopes to one day see Gary Busey actually turn a tornado into a rainbow -- if only just once.

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