The Hot Corner: Miami Marlins, Jonathan Papelbon, Kim Kardashian - Through The Fence Baseball

The Hot Corner: Miami Marlins, Jonathan Papelbon, Kim Kardashian

by Jed Rigney | Posted on Tuesday, November 15th, 2011
| 609 baseball fanatics read this article


The hottest topics for the week of November 13, 2011 …

Rumor has it the Marlins are considering Skittles as the corporate sponsor for their new stadium.

Color me bad: The new Miami Marlins’ logo and look were unveiled last week – though it might be better to say that they came out of the closet.

Price fix: The Red Sox announced that next year they are keeping ticket prices the same – however, the price of beer in the clubhouse has skyrocketed.

Misery loves company: I’ve got a bad feeling about Philadelphia signing Jonathan Papelbon to be their closer next season. I’d rather watch the worst episode of “The Closer” on TNT – which is all of them.

Proof of life: Wilson Ramos was rescued from kidnappers in Venezuela. His captors left him unguarded when they realized he played for the Nationals.

Groin pains: The Rangers’ Josh Hamilton had sports hernia surgery. And so did the Diamondbacks’ Stephen Drew. That must’ve been one crazy weekend they had in Puerto Rico.

Moving on: In an interview this week, Jorge Posada said that he is done with the Yankees. He probably should have stopped after the word done.

Empty promises: New GM Dan Duquette has vowed to make the Orioles a contender. He’s also working on a perpetual energy source, a cancer cure and a definitive text on understanding women.

Short sell: Desperate for offense the Giants traded pitcher Jonathan Sanchez to the Royals for Melky Cabrera – leaving the Giants desperate for offense.

Are Yu kidding? There are rumors that Yu Darvish might decide to not be posted to the Major Leagues this year. I don’t really have a joke here. I just wanted to do the “Are Yu kidding?” thing.

Extra Innings

Penn State: The Jerry Sandusky allegations have cost coach Joe Paterno and school president Graham Spanier their jobs. But just imagine how much trouble they’d be in if they also bought a car for a running back.

Man down: The Texans lost starting QB Matt Schaub for the season and need a replacement. Rumor has it that they left a message to see if Brett Favre was available and he messaged them a “thumbs up” picture … At least we hope it was a thumb.

Hot for teacher: Some idiot let porn star Sasha Grey read to school children – literary choices included “The Wheels on the Bus,” “Curious George” and “The Man from Nantucket.”

The caboose is loose: Soon to be divorced Kris Humphries claims to have proof that Kim Kardashian’s rear-end is unnaturally augmented – just like her fame.

In theaters now: In “Jack & Jill” Adam Sandler plays both lead roles. Probably the last thing in the world I would ever think is that a movie needed more Adam Sandler.

Contributors: Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Glen Hentz, Stephen Arenholtz


Post By Jed Rigney (202 Posts)

Jed Rigney covers general baseball randomness for Through The Fence Baseball. His work has been described as "prolific" (which isn't really a compliment). Despite a series of destructive relationships with uncaring women, he has persevered. He is an Aries and therefore quite courageous. He has never been arrested (though he was once "detained" briefly). And he hopes to one day see Gary Busey actually turn a tornado into a rainbow -- if only just once.

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