Top-10 list: Baseball mustaches are a thing of beauty
When making a top-10 list, many things are needed. Knowledge of a topic and a clear understanding of why it’s a list-worthy subject are important to gaining reader interest. With that said, what in baseball is interesting enough, yet outside of the box so much, it will garner interested? To me, there is one clear answer: mustaches.
While watching my friend Steve — who has a beard so thick he could probably sneak beers into Citizens Bank Park in it– as he was eating fries the other night, I started thinking why a person, let alone a ballplayer, would put themselves through what is, in my opinion, the torture of growing the ultimate symbol of manliness. The amount of sweat ballplayers produce during games makes the “no go” case for facial hair, however, baseball has a long history of excellent staches. The Mustache Hall of Fame for Baseball isn’t as filled as that of other sports, such as hockey, but here you go — my top 10 baseball mustaches of all time:
Rollie Fingers: I know this isn’t a huge surprise. Fingers rocks so much swag it’s insane with his fresh curls at the end of the stache. He is a legend in the mustache game and probably is the first person that popped into your head while reading this. The story behind the stache is Reggie Jackson showed up for spring training with a full beard. Believing that management wouldn’t force Jackson to shave if everyone grew a beard, Fingers, along with Catfish Hunter, Ken Holtzman and a few others began growing beards of their own and it just stuck, becoming what he is best known for.
Goose Gossage: Gossage is another player known for his glamorous facial hair. A man amongst boys in the handlebar game, he never got rid of it.
Mike Schmidt: This is a homer pick for me. The greatest Phillies player of all time also had probably the greatest Phillies mustache of all time, too. Michael Jack was the envy of many Philadelphians in the 1980s.
Rod Beck: Beck had the best baseball mustache in recent memory. Another king of the mound who looked intimidating with his killer stache and matching mullet. He had Kenny F’n Powers’ look before there was Kenny F’n Powers.
Eddie Murray: Who is the man who would risk his neck for his brother man? My man Eddie Murray was straight up bad in the 1970s and 1980s. The Hall of Fame player was a bad mother, shut your mouth …
Gary Maddux: Another Phillie on my list, and how could he not be? True, his hair makes the stache look better, but Maddux is the poster child for the early 1980s hairstyle in Philly. He is the best Phillies center fielder of all time and had the best afro (other then Dr. J) in Philly sports during the 1980s.
Bobby Valentine: It was a disguise, but it was an awesome disguise and is well deserving of this list.
Craig Kusick: Oh my God! I know what you are thinking: He does look a lot like Farva from Super Troopers.
Dennis Eckersley: Perfection personified. Eck’s classic stache would fit in any decade. He was an awesome player but had a better mustache.
Marge Schott: The Cincy legend was known for her tough persona, but her racist slurs are what really putting her in the headlines. She had more peach fuzz on her face then Justin Bieber, and that earns her a spot on this list.