Final post: ‘The Hot Corner’ says goodbye


Giant hot dogs? I'm listening! (photo courtesy of The Onion)
Giant hot dogs? I’m listening!

It is with a mixture of sadness and relief that I announce after 100 editions of The Hot Corner, I will no longer be posting these. My Breaking Balls column will continue to appear on this site, but my current workload is such that I just don’t have the time.

I want to thank all my friends who have helped me week after week turn out these stupid jokes – especially Jon Sumple, Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Stephen Arenholtz, Jon Sender, Glen Hentz and Atman Thakrar.

And thank you all for reading.

To celebrate reaching 100 editions, I have put together a bunch of my favorite jokes and graphics from the last two years.

Word on the street: Derek Jeter is Wolverine.
Word on the street: Derek Jeter is Wolverine.

Big Z: After some unruly conduct Carlos Zambrano was put on the disqualified list – which seems unnecessary, since he’s already on the Cubs.

Big bats: The Yankees hit a record-setting three grand slams in one game against the A’s.  The next day Milwaukee’s Prince Fielder also hit three grand slams…  at Denny’s.

Basketbrawl: The Georgetown basketball team got into a bench-clearing brawl during a “friendly” game with a team in China…  And, they were hungry an hour later.

Sausage fest: This weekend a fan threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods during a golf tournament – which was surprising since Tiger is used to being the one throwing his wiener around.

Color me bad: The new Miami Marlins’ logo and look were unveiled last week – though it might be better to say that they came out of the closet.

The Boston Red Sox wheel out their new catcher ... maybe.
The Boston Red Sox wheel out their new catcher.

Yu know it! Texas Rangers officially sign Japanese star Yu Darvish. That means Yu is pitching this season … I am pitching this season? … No, Yu is on the mound … If I am on the mound, then who is pitching? … Yu is.

New kids on the block: Hot, young super-prospects Bryce Harper and Mike Trout debuted for their teams. These two boys from the back streets are in sync and headed in one direction.

Bad hops: Tigers third baseman Miguel Cabrera left a game after he was hit in the face when a groundball ate him up. This was quite a shock. He’s usually the one doing all the eating.

Dickey ExtensionBrown noser: Jonathan Papelbon says Phillies fans are smarter than Red Sox fans. But are they dumb enough to believe him?

Technical knockout: Of course Ryan Braun is innocent. If he’s “guilty” of anything, it’s using steroids.

Drinker, Texas Ranger: Josh Hamilton says that after this season, he will test free agency. And whatever you’ve got on tap.

Staying loose: After signing a one-year contract, Stephen Drew will be the Red Sox eighth opening day shortstop in the last ten seasons. The team is considering changing the name of the position to Taylor Swift.

Bryce Harper and Mike Trout celebrated their Rookie of the Year awards with pony rides.
Bryce Harper and Mike Trout celebrated their Rookie of the Year awards with pony rides.

Brave new world: Outfielder B.J. Upton signed with the Braves for over $75 million. Normally it’s a lot less than that to get a B.J. in Atlanta.

Lose Angeles: The Dodgers are off to a terrible start, but ownership representative Magic Johnson remains positive.

In the dog house: Cleveland Indians pitcher Chris Perez was charged with misdemeanor drug possession after pot was mailed to his home in the name of his dog. It’s pretty obvious this is all a set up by his cat.

Extra Innings

Calling it quits: The Ravens’ Ray Lewis will retire from the NFL after this season, the Baltimore Police Department has announced.

Soccer? I don’t even know her: Lionel Messi broke the record for most goals in a calendar year with 86. Soccer fans haven’t been this excited since The Notebook was released on DVD.

Gender race: Danica Patrick is the first female driver to win the pole position at the Daytona 500. Though she’s certainly not the first female to start on the pole in Daytona Beach.

Art imitates life: Amanda Bynes claims her recent bizarre behavior is all an act – a Theater of Life performance called “Please Help Me, I’m on Drugs and I Can’t Stop Lying and Being on Drugs.”

She’s all that: Justin Bieber was spotted out on a date at a Miami Heat championship series game with a mystery girl. They already have so much in common because he is also a mystery girl.

Disharmony: Kenny G is getting a divorce? Man, he really blew it.

Splittsville: Heidi Klum and Seal are filing for divorce because of irreconcilable facial differences.

Airport shuttle: This week the space shuttle Endeavor arrived in California to be put on display – a symbol of the USA at its finest: a bankrupt state spending $30 million on something that doesn’t work.

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