The Daily Single: Craigslist hitter wanted!

At Through The Fence Baseball, we believe laughter is nature’s best medicine. So, every day, be on the lookout for “The Daily Single,” which features a funny photo, video, quiz, or anything relating to baseball. Hey, we got a laugh, so you should too! As always, suggestions and submissions for The Daily Single should be addressed to: throughthefencebaseball@gmail.com

Today’s entry is very special and found on Craigslist! We found this quite amusing!

Local competetive softball team looking for a lead off hitter.
Position Requirment:
Leadoff hitters must possess certain traits to be successful: they must reach base at a proficient on-base percentage rate and should be able to hit to all fields. Sabermetric analysis has indicated that hitting to all fields is often an overrated quality of leadoff hitters, however, but the leadoff hitter should still be able to move the ball around. Many managers also wish their leadoff hitters could 40 buck at will and especially when the situation call for it. Generally, the leadoff batter is the fastest baserunner on the team. He bats more often than anyone else in the lineup. His goal is to ensure the team has baserunners on base when the later, more powerful hitters come to bat. His need for a high on base percentage (OBP) exceeds that of the other lineup spots. Because leadoff hitters are selected primarily for their speed and ability to reach base, they are typically not power hitters. Leadoff hitters typically hit mostly singles and doubles and draw walks to get on base. However, speed is not essential, as was shown by Wade Boggs, but it is highly desired among leadoff hitters.
We’re not looking for a professional by any means, but for Gods sake man we not looking for someone who swings at the first pitch and pops up to the short stop or hits a 40 foot dribbler back to the mound, we have plenty of that. If this is something you are interested in please reply to this ad. Mainly play NSA, but mix in some ASA at times.
Previous applicants need not apply, must speak english and we would hope you would have most of your teeth. If you can’t pass a drug screening (you know who you are) then you don’t need to apply either. On second thought that could be negotiable, I guess it depends, we could round table that as a team.