The unspoken rules of baseball

No smoking.  No profanity.  These are just a few rules that our part of Major League Baseball stadium’s code of conduct.  With many stadiums emphasizing their guest policies, I thought it might be appropriate to suggest a few of my own.

Slurp don’t suck

I adhere to the adage “drink responsibly” however it should exclude fans drinking their beer with a straw.  Many times I have witnessed this atrocity and each time I am horrified.  As fan Brian Knosp explains beer “is meant to be sipped or gulped, not suctioned out of a cup.”

Keep your shirt on

Getting autographs is fine, taking pictures with your favorite athlete is fine but wearing a player’s jersey is ridiculous. Sure, this might upset MLB retailers but grown men and women who wear uniforms with someone else’s name spells out identity crisis!  It is important to recognize and support today’s players as well as players of the past.  Nevertheless, it would be best to invest in stocks and bonds rather than a voyeuristic fantastical attachment to another man’s accomplishments.

Keep your eyes on the ball

Many stadiums show bloopers and ask fans to guess the attendance.  These are typical and minimal disturbances.  There are though, things that fans do that are cause for alarm.  Baseball is a wonderful game and should not be susceptible to people selling Avon, knitting, and reading romance novels.

“I think it’s horrible”, says fan Carlos Flores.  People should be “paying attention to the game and rally behind the team.”

Please remember that attending a game should be a great experience and not a time to knit your grandson’s booties.

Take your hat off

Baseball is a game of tradition.  Part of that tradition is taking off your hat during the playing of the National Anthem.  You may have the coolest hat from the latest MLB catalog but paying your respect for our nation and the people who have sacrificed and died for our freedoms deserves recognition.  So put your hand over your heart and check your vanity at the stadium gate.

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