The Hot Corner: Papelbon, Canseco, Jessica Simpson - Through The Fence Baseball

The Hot Corner: Papelbon, Canseco, Jessica Simpson

by Jed Rigney | Posted on Wednesday, March 14th, 2012
| 908 baseball fanatics read this article


The hottest topics for the week of March 12, 2012 …

Speaking of dumb things in Boston ... (AP photo)

Brown noser: Jonathan Papelbon says Phillies fans are smarter than Red Sox fans. But are they dumb enough to believe him?

No way: A Mexican baseball league banned Jose Canseco because he refused a doping test – of course, in Mexico, it’s a test to make sure that you are doping.

More Canseco: The person who signed up Canseco in the first place is who needs to be tested for drugs.

Hypocritical: At a spring training game, San Francisco fans taunted Ryan Braun for his PED use. This totally reminds me of the time they never did that to Barry Bonds.

Terrible towel: David Price hurt his neck toweling off his head in the dugout. The Rays’ bat boys have been ordered to remove the pillows from his room as a precaution.

More Price: When you have the kind of arm strength that David has, it makes a lot of things quite dangerous. But this does help explain his frequent groin injuries.

What’s in a name? Miami’s Mike Stanton says he wants to be called Giancarlo now. He’s also now insisting on wearing gold chains, dousing himself with aftershave and driving a Camaro.

Stay classy: Bruce Bochy kicked an opposing team’s scout out of the stadium during a Giants’ practice. Bochy didn’t want him to see the new Statue of Liberty play to help boost the offense.

Yes, I realize this is insensitive: In an earthquake charity game, Japan toppled Taiwan in a match that was shaky at first but then brought a tidal wave of relief to fans.

Intervention: Weak-hitting outfielder Jason Pridie got a 50-game suspension for violating baseball’s drug policy – for a “drug of abuse,” not a performance enhancer. Jason, it’s time to get clean, re-focus your life and get on some steroids already.

Extra Innings

Dating game: Peyton Manning is traveling the country as a free agent being wooed by a wide variety of teams – like a recently divorced guy trying to show his ex-wife (Colts) he’s still got it by hooking up with floozies (Broncos), tramps (Titans) and bimbos (Dolphins).

Baby weight: It kind of looks like Jessica Simpson is pregnant with twins … or triplets … or another Jessica Simpson.

Mars attacked: The $250-million John Carter may turn out to be the biggest disaster in movie history. But only because last year’s Red Sox weren’t a movie.

More John Carter: Of course it bombed – most moviegoers thought it was a movie about an accountant from South Dakota.

Weight watchers: I don’t know why anyone cares about seeing The Hunger Games when we all know Angelina Jolie won.

Contributors: Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Stephen Arenholtz

Post By Jed Rigney (203 Posts)

Jed Rigney covers general baseball randomness for Through The Fence Baseball. His work has been described as "prolific" (which isn't really a compliment). Despite a series of destructive relationships with uncaring women, he has persevered. He is an Aries and therefore quite courageous. He has never been arrested (though he was once "detained" briefly). And he hopes to one day see Gary Busey actually turn a tornado into a rainbow -- if only just once.

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