So, who is @Decker6 aka Cody Decker? While at UCLA, the slugger was named twice to the All-Pac-10 team and was known for his unique “batters box stomp” featured in this video. Now in the San Diego Padres organization, the self-proclaimed “anti-hero,” who is “rarely wrong, often a jerk, always adorable,” is witty, sarcastic, sometimes sophomoric, and can do a serious beat down in a Twitter war — especially with favorite target @cswag8 (Chris Swauger). BTW – His 25th birthday is today and all he wants is to reach 1,500 followers, a surprisingly modest goal. Do it for Cody, you just might get a bat out of it.
>> Remember when I said I would do another bat giveaway contest if I got to 1500 followers by me day of birth (Tues, jan 17)? I wasnt joking…
>> Anyone want to join me for 40 minutes of ab work?…. Me neither….
>> Awesome bp session with @CutterDykstra, @NickSwisher, and@str8edgeracer… Oh sorry, can someone pick up those name I just dropped?…
>> Pretty sure Leo DiCaprio runs a super model training camp located on a remote tropical island and then just picks who he wants afterward….
>> When Tim Tebow throws a pic, I’m waiting for an announcer with the balls to say “and another immaculate interception!”…..
>> Good workouts today. Now both me and my chest hair are going to relax for a few… Chest hair put in some serious work on those last sets…
>> #NP Billy Idol- Sweet Sixteen…One of those classic songs romanticizing statutory rape…Right next to Winger’s “Seventeen”…Disturbing…
>> I hate it when people say “less is more”…. Bullshit, more is more!….
>> Honesty is the best policy….. Except for most of the time….
>> New pick up line: “hello, I’m friends with Channing Tatum…”
>> I am currently watching The Fifth Element…. Which is basically Die Hard in space…. My Friday night is awesome! #antihero
>> On a scale of 1 to 10….. I’m fucking bored….
>> Christine O’Donnell just backed Mitt Romney’s candidacy… This has to be the worst news Mitt Romney has ever received…..
>> Getting tired of these woman objectifying me at the gym…. My eyes are up here, ladies!!!!
>> Dear every girl named Roxanne, The police wrote that song to let you know that you don’t HAVE to be a prostitute….
>> Was supposed to have 3 workouts today… But I just spent 45 minutes untangling my headphones… So I guess that makes it 4….
>> If these walls could talk…. I’d probably find a new apartment…..
>> Somewhere in the world, a girl with a pink sparkle cell phone case is using the wrong “your”…..
>> My inner child wet my bed…. Little bastard….
>> Why jeans with a button fly? It’s just safer… And when it comes to that geographic location, safety first…
>> Whenever I have to give a speech at the beach… It helps to imagine all the unattractive people fully clothed…
>> I in no way advocate this profession, but if I was a drug mule I would mentally justify it by telling myself that I am a modern day Han Solo
>> Dear Dora The Explorer Is there really anything left to explore? Havent maps kinda been finalized by Magellin…NASA…You know,those people
>> Dear Smoke detectors, dont be afraid to use the last of your battery life detecting fires instead of just beeping uncontrollably….
>> “War isnt the answer” – Really? What if the question is: What is the title of the 1983 U2 album that featured the hit song New Years Day?…
>> At the market. Woman at the frozen food section holding a freezer door open said:”why is it freezing in here?” #palmtoface #slowlyshakinhead
>> Te”i”am……. There, problem solved….
>> “DAMMIT, I WAS SO CLOSE!….” – Unicycle inventor looking at a bicycle…
>> Today is an excellent opportunity for me to wear an eye patch….. If you have to ask why, then you’re clearly not ready…..
>> Dear amateur porn stars, Production value could be easily improved by subtle changes: camera angles, costumes, perhaps cleaning your room…
>> Been an interesting day…. Not to be vague but ……………………………
>> Everytime I watch Pawn Stars, I cant help but think about the horrible shit that is prabably happening in the basement…Thanks Pulp Fiction
>> “It all started with a klondike bar…” – First line of an interesting stripper’s autobiography
>> “Wait, wait, wait… There’s a right field too?…. Now you’re just making shit up….” – Me, during batting practice yesterday…
>> I want to be the first man ever to have an affair with, Siri…That would mean my game is unreal…One day!(shaking fist angrily to the sky)
>> “Theres a huge ass line at Walmart….” – Someone who loves to be redundant
>> Life suggestion: If you’re hanging out with a guy in a kilt, don’t suggest a game of twister…. I’ll never make make that mistake again….
>> Couldnt get a pic, but shit you not, guy at the gym: shoulder press with one arm, on the phone with the other hand. Im surrounded by idiots!
>> Butterflies have tattoos of slutty girls on their lower back….
>> I clicked on a link to win a free iPad. Then I got salmonella….. Coincidence?…
>> Id like to once again remind everyone that James Bond isnt THAT great of a spy. He gets captured every mission… Hes like 22 for 22 on this
>> “Let’s do it again!…. But this time, we’ll make it awful…” – Steven Spielberg & George Lucas in 2008
>> “I see people” – The First Sense
>> I now handle all financial transactions via steel briefcase handoff in a dimly lit parking structure…. Logistics wise, its just smarter…
>> Hulu is on PS3?!… Finally!…… I always wanted to be able to watch tv ON my tv!….
>> “Cody, you’re arrogant” – someone who is beneath me…
>> If my son is bald…. I’m going to reward him when he does something good by putting bear claw stickers on his head…..
>> I would like to thank Charmin for answering that age old conundrum: “does a bear shit in the woods”…
>> “I have too many skeletons in my closet” – serial killer in need of storage space
>> “You are pointless?!” – me, yelling at a circle
>> After all these years, you’d think inmates would figure out that liquid soap is probably the way to go….
>> Received a jury summons…. I sent them a link to my twitter account…. Pretty sure that will get me dismissed…
>> “No, I don’t think I need to grow up…” – Me, after building my fort…
>> Decided to give my body the day off…. Horrible decision cause I am beyond bored…..
>> My landline just rang……. Creepy……
>> Porn name: first name is first pet, last name the street I grew up on. So my porn name is: …Cody Decker…Holy shit what are the odds?!…
>> Ive never experienced Deja vu before…. I’m pretty sure I’ve thought that a few times….
>> If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off in the first place?…. #deductivereasoning
>> Once a year my ex girlfriend would go crazy for like 365 days….
>> I would tweet about where I am… But I’d rather avoid the ridicule….
>> “That reminds me of a great story” – someone about to tell me a terrible story….
>> I hate you…. But I’m not IN hate with you….
>> I’m getting really facing tired of this autocorrect shut……
>> People should beware answering unexpected knockings at the door on a full moon…. Could be a very polite werewolf……
>> “And the rest is history…..” – Lazy teacher
>> Just went through an extensive pat down at airport security…… Took me 3 and a half minutes to realize the guy didn’t work there…..
>> If you went to THEOhioState…. Can you shut THE hell up?….
>> Hangman teaches children the valuable lesson of: if you get the answer wrong, you will be killed….
>> Say what you will, but at my age, I’m pretty sure the worst STD that can be contracted is children…
>> “YOU’RE GETTING A PAR, YOU’RE GETTING A PAR, YOU’RE GETTING A PAR!!!!” – Oprah Winfrey, Golf Caddy….
>> Before I agree to be friends….. I would like to see your entire benefits package presentation…..
>> well, its official….. I have reached my all time low….. i am abou[t] to crash a quinceanera……… i am actually ashamed of myself……
>> “Don’t dip your pen in company ink.” – HR telling me I can’t sleep with my secretary…. I think…..
>> I always try to buyAmerica…. But domestic army knives just aren’t as reliable asSwitzerland’s product….
>> I hope I become a zombie one day… Cause according to Michael Jackson, I will be an amazing dancer when I return from the dead…
>> Being a hostage would probably be terrible…… but maybe a little less if you were really lonely first….
>> I thought about becoming a detective during the offseason. I solved like 45% of Blues Clues last week before they even gave the 3rd clue….
>> How bad were motels 1-5 that they didn’t even get to be part of the discussion?……
>> “you’re not my father!!!…” – Me talking to someone I just met….
TWITTER KNOCKDOWN OF @cswag8:
>> @cswag8 gets a little too excited when he solves the mystery before they give the answer on the show Blue’s Clues…
>> @cswag8 often says LOL and LMAO in a live conversation…..
>> @cswag8 doesnt feel a single emotion during those Sarah McLachlan dog cruelty commercials…
>> @cswag8 works hard 24/7….. That’s 24 hours a week…. 7 months a year…. The rest of time he’s even more useless…
>> The movie “Brief Interviews with Hideous Men” is actually just a flip phone interview with @cswag8…..
>> @cswag8 was once put on the 15 day DL due to split ends….
>> In high school a teacher told @cswag8 he had “Moby Dick”….. Took him 2 weeks to figure out that it was an assignment not an STD…
>> The film title: Superbad was actually taken from the title of @cswag8personal instructional base running video…
>> Followers of @cswag8 have to shower on avg 7 times a day to wash off the lack of talent they endure from him on twitter
