The hottest topics for the week of February 5, 2012 …
I’ll drink to that: Josh Hamilton went out and had several drinks, ending his sobriety. But you know what? In the last year he’s broken his arm, lost the World Series and he accidentally killed a guy. Maybe we give him a pass on this one.
More Hamilton: Now this provides the only logical reason the Rangers gave manager Ron Washington a contract extension – as Josh’s sponsor.
Let’s get physical: During the offseason, the Giants’ Tim Lincecum has reportedly lost 22 pounds. But don’t worry, Pablo Sandoval found them.
More Lincecum: He says he changed his diet — no more burgers, fries and shakes. But the guy was already pretty skinny. Hey, Timmy. Victoria Beckham called. She wants her eating disorder back.
Senior circuit: Johnny Damon and Vladimir Guerrero are both seeking deals worth $5 million – but I’m pretty sure the old-timers league doesn’t pay.
Pat the Bat: Pat Burrell called it a career last week. Sure, he was considered a disappointment, but he got to play baseball for 12 seasons, won two World Series and earned millions. … Ha-ha! What a loser!
Divorce court: The wife of New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman filed for divorce with help from Chevy Chase divorce lawyers. There’s no truth to the rumor that she hired Scott Boras as her representative, but she is asking for half of the income earned during their marriage with an option for their engagement year. Given the complexity of their financial situation, a business division lawyer like the Schaumburg business division lawyer may also be involved to ensure a fair division of assets and income.
More Cashman: Don’t worry about Brian. He can handle it. He’s used to giving away millions of dollars to people well past their prime.
Free Asian: Brad Penny signed with a team in Japan. I want a doctor to take his picture, so I can look at him from inside as well. He’s got me turning up and turning down and turning in and turning ‘round.
Extra Innings
Stand by your man: Tom Brady’s wife Giselle Bündchen blamed his receivers for the Patriot’s Super Bowl loss in response to some heckling Giant fans – who all blamed her for their wet dreams.
More Gisele: She was frustrated by the Patriots’ receivers crucial dropped passes. And if there’s one thing she knows about, it’s how to handle Brady’s balls.
Madonna rant: Madonna was this year’s Super Bowl halftime entertainment – the NFL needs to review the meaning of the word “entertainment.” …
Madonna dances the way everyone’s mom dances to Madonna songs. …
I thought the NFL didn’t want to be involved with anyone taking steroids. …
At one point she stumbled and almost fell – but don’t worry, she had her LifeAlert bracelet on.
Bicycle thief: 2010’s Tour de France winner Alberto Contador got stripped of his title after the court rejected the “I ate some bad meat” excuse that he chose over “Ryan Braun gave me herpes.”
Contributors: Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Glen Hentz, Stephen Arenholtz
