D-backs vs. Brewers series recap; Mock weekend scouting report

Teammates say Rockies' shortstop Troy Tulowitzki claimed himself to be the "Justin Timberlake of baseball." (Brad Mangin/ Sports Illustrated)

The “battle of the slugging pitchers” — which saw no such reality, save a Yovani Gallardo single and run –– was a draw. After Josh Collmenter‘s Monday night brilliance, the D-backs lost a couple of games in a row before shutting out the Brewers 4-0 last night. A few notes on the series:

  • Chase Field booed Prince Fielder in every one of his at-bats in the series.
  • Barry Enright‘s return to the D-backs on Tuesday was calamitous, to say the least. The 25-year-old right-hander gave up a total of six earned runs in three innings, on home runs by Corey Hart, Ryan Braun, Yuniesky Betancourt and Rickie Weeks. He was charged with the loss and optioned back to Reno the following day.
  • D-backs shortstop Stephen Drew broke his right ankle in the fourth inning of Wednesday night’s 5-2 loss to the Brewers as he slid into home plate. He underwent surgery on Thursday which was, reportedly, successful and he will miss the rest of the season. The D-backs have consequently called up utility infielder Cody Ransom, although veteran Willie Bloomquist will likely get most of the starts at shortstop. Ransom is hitting .331 in 92 games for the triple A Reno Aces this season, with a 1.092 OPS. No less, Drew’s heart-of-the-order bat will be sorely missed.
  • Justin Upton was hitless in his first 15 at-bats after the All-Star break. He’s now five for his last 11, with a double, a homer and a pair of RBIs.
  • Ian Kennedy outdueled Zack Greinke in the series finale, giving up only four hits and two walks in seven innings, striking out five. Greinke is the second former Cy Young winner Kennedy has beaten this year, the other being Philadelphia’s Cliff Lee.
  • David Hernandez‘s flawless substitution for injured closer J.J. Putz continued throughout the series, as he converted both of his save opportunities. Hernandez is now 7-for-7 in save opportunities since the Putz injury.

Upcoming: Colorado Rockies

The D-backs and Rockies begin a three-game weekend series tonight at Chase Field. The Rockies come to town six games back from the second-place D-backs. Star player Carlos Gonzalez suffered a wrist injury yesterday and isn’t expected to be in the lineup for any of the weekend’s contests.

Probables:

Tonight (6:40 MST): RHP Daniel Hudson (10-5, 3.56 ERA) vs. RHP Aaron Cook (0-5, 5.82 ERA)

Saturday (5:10 MST): RHP Collmenter (5-5, 2.65) vs. RHP Jason Hammel (5-9; 4.36)

Sunday (1:10 MST): RHP Micah Owings (3-0, 2.76) vs. RHP Ubaldo Jimenez (6-8; 4.00)

[Mock] Colorado Rockies Scouting Report:

Now, to begin a Friday tradition — a parodic scouting report of the D-backs’ weekend opponents. (Disclaimer: the following statements are not factually founded. In fact, for the most part, they were randomly conjured. Please understand the following to be nothing beyond parody.)

Jim Tracy, Manager: Attempts to insult younger players by telling them that Sean Connery and Roger Moore played a better James Bond than Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. Frequently employs the cliché phrase “good times” — always accompanied by a deep sigh. Still uses a turquoise Sony Walkman.

Ubaldo Jimenez, SP: One of four active players who still collects baseball cards, the other three being Chuck James, Josh Thole, and Hunter Pence. Loves string cheese, moon pies, mini milk cartons, anything green apple flavored.

Jhoulys Chacin, SP: Will animately tell you his name is “Jhoulys Cha-ching,” then chuckle and clap his hands. Loves Adam Sandler movies.

Jason Hammel, SP: Euchre partners with Seth Smith. Adamant that RC Cola is better than Coke. Fluent in pig latin. Was recently stood up on a date-to-be with pitching coach Bob Apodaca’s younger daughter.

Aaron Cook, SP: Used to go clubbin’ with Ian Stewart. In the process of scouting the Colorado Springs nightlife scene, so the two can bring the tradition back upon demotion.

Juan Nicasio, SP: Line-cutter, cleanup man (postgame spread), stadium wanderer. No water — just red Gatorade, baby.

Huston Street, RP: Wants you to know that he will obliterate you on the golf course. Every weekend in the offseason, if you’re down. Often brags about his dad’s college football exploits.

Chris Iannetta, C: No matter the season, his favorite outfit is a black wife beater and camo cargo shorts. Pathological liar. Untrusted by teammates.

Todd Helton, 1B: If you’re standing on first base, the only things he’ll discuss with you is hunting and fishing and good ‘ole Rocky Top. Hates “sissies,” as he’d have it.

Jason Giambi, 1B: Not an issue for the D-backs this weekend — will be thousands of miles away, making a cameo on Jersey Shore. 

Mark Ellis, 2B: Biggest fears: a. being traded b. athlete’s foot c. booing d. Ty Wigginton. Leading major league baseball in Mountain Dew: Code Red purchases since his debut in 2002.

Troy Tulowitzki, SS: Late one night during spring training in Arizona, after a few too many beers, told CarGo and Chris Iannetta that he considered himself to be “the Justin Timberlake of baseball.” The next day, he made them each swear not to repeat it. Evidently, someone leaked.

Ian Stewart, 3B: Will probably show you a cell phone picture of his yellow street bike within five minutes of meeting you. Gets his hair cut weekly. Inquires to the front office about the necessity of an undershirt for his vest every homestand.

Carlos Gonzalez, OF: Compulsive squanderer. Found a cheat in MLB 11: The Show that allows him to play every position for the Rockies; currently 43 games through a 60-game season –– difficulty: easy, run differential: +868.

Seth Smith, OF: Obsessed with secret handshakes. Still working on one with Giambi. Self-conscious of his oft-flaring nostrils. Wears too much cologne.

Ryan Spilborghs, OF: Challenges pitchers to foot races during warmups, offering 20-30 step headstarts. Loves the #19 on the back of his jersey.

Dexter Fowler, OF: Obsessed with Halo. Once tried to tell Helton that the game was “similar to hunting.” Helton shook his head in disappointment and the two haven’t spoken since.

Ty Wigginton, U: 1. Prone to extreme, irrational anger 2. Beats his dog frequently 3. Has joked with teammates about pulling a Randall Simon sometime this weekend during the D-backs Legends Race.

Jonathan Herrera, U: Looks like a fish. Do you need to know anything else?

Dinger, Mascot: A purple dinosaur.

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