Last Saturday, Logan Morrison, one of baseball’s most prolific tweeps, was unceremoniously and curiously demoted to triple-A. There has been considerable buzz that LoMo was shipped to New Orleans, not because of his numbers, but as a slapdown by Florida Marlins management, who haven’t been amused with his tweeting. To be fair, LoMo’s stats have dropped sharply after a hot start, but his OBP ranked third on the big club. Further fuel was added to the fire when LoMo changed his avatar this week from one with the word “Censored” over his mouth to a silhouette of his home-run swing. @LoMoMarlins has more than 60,000 followers not only because LoMo gives us hilarious quips about his life, but also in the way he interacts with other tweeps (friends or foes). LoMo is a cut above the rest in the latter category. #FreeLoMo
(Editor’s note: For those unfamiliar with Twitter, in each entry below, LoMo’s responses are first, followed by the comment that triggered his response.)
Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed RT @_TBOZ LoMo idk why I follow u. Ur neither funny or good. Plus u play 4 a AAA team
OMG is that a dog in ur Avatar or did u feed a Gremlin after midnight??? RT @yadelc LoMo only because ur my 16th favorite player in florida
Rainman almost bankrupt a casino RT @HugeRedsFan: LoMo I think u r 1/2 retard. U must of lacked alot of attention as a child. I feel for you
My grandma thinks im special! RT @Mets25Reyes7: LoMo how does a nobody OF call out an all star ss and get away with it? What a douche u r
Im a douche? Had 2 look up “douche” in the dictionary & ur cheesy BusBench realtor photo was there RT @Chase_Cates: LoMo is clearly a douche
You look like an unshaved Subway Jared RT @sportsfan882: LoMo is laughable in LF. What a horrible defender. He looked like a clown yesterday
Ouch. The On-Base streak continues! RT @eatveitmoeSFG: Damn Logan Morrison is a total douche. Hope we throw one at his head this series
“Catapulted”? New thesaurus, Sid? RT @sidrosenberg: Check the MLB Standings this a.m. The Mets have catapulted the Marlins into 3rd!
Wait, did u hear that I dont go all the way?!? False RT @marlinsfan14 LoMo Been a Marlins fan since ’93 want 2 c u guys go all the way!!!
1) WTF?!? 2) Dont knock masturbation, or as I like to think of it – sex with someone I love RT @tntkids: LoMo Did u masturbate tonight?
Depends, does ur mom make chocalate chip pancakes? RT @22brob LoMo What r the chances of us having a sleepover during the all star break?
LoMo loves the brown suga! RT @DomPerion15: One of my friends said u were racist. I told him no way cause u like the sistas lol
Traditional or French? RT @cyasses LoMo, ill be in founders seats on the third base side monday, come say hey, or ya know, gimme a kiss?
Guess whose Mom has the hots 4 LoMo?!? Oops RT @wilkinsona: LoMo ur a pretty cool guy but dont tell any1 I said that 😉 My son follows u!
Stripclubs in Philly take coupons?!? RT @ekt8750 LoMo Ive got a coupon for one of Philly’s finest strip joint for ya next time youre in town
If I can get a RT 4 the big loaf I just named after u! RT @JMESSMER22: LoMo I just passed a kidney stone & named it after u, can I get a RT?
F*ckin’ Zoo’s closed Ray RT @derek2jack: LoMo shouldn’t u be spending less time tweeting & more time rehabing ur foot?
Diversity=following a white kid from the Midwest? RT @trisha37: People tell me 2 follow LoMo. I like diversity in my timelie, so, here goes
I also have tattoos & many leather bound books RT @MarissajustMay: How was I not following LoMo until tday? Dude has some serious tweet game
Buh bye RT @EddieMac83: it was fun jumping on the LoMo tweet train, but too main stream! After a year Gotta bail, no t-shirt or follow
Tough luck pal RT @CoryCasuso: LoMo I began following u 2 c when u’d b back dominating 4 the Marlins. Not tweeting abt dumping on the plane!
Thou? Is this Shakespeare? RT @pakpakpaul: LoMo U put a capital N on normal. I have my doubts abt u being normal.Still my favorite plyr thou
Random Acts of LoMo Followers
Thats actually correct drunk pronunciation RT @Saints2324 At Marlins game my 17 mo son was calling LoMo “momo” after his hr. Cant yet say L
I could be the next Lenny Dykstra! RT @GuyAdami Logan, big fan. watch CNBC’s Fast Money one night. maybe get u on during the All Star Break!
Gonna b tuff I wear a womens one piece bathing suit RT @MrIncrediBill: Lo, Ever aqua-dumped in a pool? So relaxing. Try it during a workout!
Definitely an Outie, well unless its cold. Wait what r u talking about? RT @lisanine9: LoMo We’re all curious if u have an outie or innie?
Was i picking my nose? RT @mariaij18: OMG! U came on TV & the reporter said “Look @ LoMo doing that thing w his fingers” Howd he do that?
I could b wrong but I believe diversity is an old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era RT @Wrestler561 LoMo What is diversity?
How bout “come on down & test drive one of these sluts”? RT @dbell333: LoMo I’m sure they love you referring to their product as “bitches” >> Just wrapped up commercial shoot @ Toyota of S. Fla. Buy Toyota stock NOW these bitches r goin 2 b flyin off the lot when this hits the air!
Scotch tape it back up & see if you can return it RT @AustinJankowiak opened some 2011 baseball cards. First card I see: Logan Morrison.
A kid trying 2 catch butterflies @ a church picnic RT @PastramiOnWry LoMo if Stanton’s swing is a logger hacking a mighty redwood whats urs?
The Village people? RT @SFEastBayNAVY LoMo I will b w/ a group of guys from the Navy on field today before the game. Please come say hi.
All jokes aside… I had to poop. Bad RT @RJSonbeek: LoMo you drove right past me today 🙁 I wanted you to sign my ball :/
How bout a lullaby? RT @despinadina: LoMo ‘m pulling an all-nighter studying 4 a final, tell me something funny/motivating 2 keep me awake?
Very late…What r u a 6 yr old girl?? Good luck RT @AlanHardistyII: LoMo its very late but can I get a good luck 4 our ConferenceTourny?
Nope im a white kid!RT @790Justin I sometimes do play-by-play demos from the outfield, want to be my color commentator while on the DL?
Can’t. I have chubby knees… RT @Ldogg14: LoMo you need to wear tighter pants on the field 😉
Dude! Stop, now i know what it feels like to follow meRT @SwingaSinga19 perseverance!!!!!!! I’m your biggest Tampa fan! Love me!
Already faced 2 of em. U know the seasons started rite? RT @kmuls430: LoMo u have ne chance against the Phils 4 aces? R u excited 2 face em?
Just hugged an old guy in the lobby. Judging by his panic & anger.. Not a Veteran… RT @SpcStevens: LoMo, make sure u hug a Veteran today!
Just a hunch, it may b ur haircut RT @OchoSpecko: Hey LoMo I’m in an slump man, is it true if I bang a Fat Chick I’ll break out of it?
Yeah, time for a new pic or a gym membership ha RT @ryankeelan: LoMo my shirt is off in my profile pic I think that is worth something
Yeah, dont watch mine right now RT @alwayssunnyincp: LoMo any pointers 4 baseball swing? trying 2 make it to club baseball next school year