Not very often do you see a man try to remove himself from his decade-long job and organization only to be offered what essentially amounts to a promotion. That is what the Colorado Rockies former pitching coach Bob Apodaca got this week.
On Tuesday afternoon, Rockies GM Dan O’Dowd broke they story to USA Today that Bob Apodaca had been “re-assigned” upon his personal request.
Apodaca: “Hey, Dan, you got a second?”
O’Dowd: “Sure, Bob. What’s on your mind?”
Apodaca: “Everyone around Denver has been calling for me to be fired for, like, years, and I’ve had enough because these pitchers really suck. I just wanted to let you know that I’m quitting.”
O’Dowd: “Bob, nobody has been saying those things, it’s just propaganda from the Denver Post and sports radio. If you go out to the streets those people calling for your head don’t exist. They’ve been doing it to me for years and Mr. Monfort keeps telling me those people are just spreading propaganda. How about I offer you a promotion? Nothing beats nepotism or some good ol’ fashioned cronyism … it works for Congress.”
Apodaca: “Well, I don’t know, what do you have in mind?”
O’Dowd: “Assistant GM to the GM …”
Apodaca: “What would that entail?”
O’Dowd: “Hell if I know, but I’m sure it will still piss off all the ‘people’ who want us fired. How about some coffee for starters?”
That’s how the conversation played out in my head Tuesday afternoon. Apodaca wanted out, but the Coors Field Mafia kept pulling him back in. That left a vacancy which has now become occupied by Bo McLaughlin, the now former pitching coach of the triple-A affiliate Colorado Springs Sky Sox. Bo is not the actual pitching coach, though, as the Rockies front office has implemented a two-man rotation as co-pitching coaches. McLaughlin will be the coach for the starters and Jim Wright will remain the bullpen coach.
Wait, I’m confused. McLaughlin is sharing responsibilities with Wright, even though they both have their own titles?
Do both go to the mound to talk to Jeremy Guthrie? This four-man rotation is interesting enough as is; now they want two guys to be the pitching coach?
Commenting on the “re-assignment” of his former pitching coach, manager Jim Tracy said: “The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and thinking you’ll get a different result.”
Ya don’t say skipper?! I never would’ve known that it is, in fact, insanity to go back to the well hoping for water when it has been dry since April and re-drilling hasn’t found more. The problem is an adult with foresight would’ve understood the well was dry and bought some artesian bottled water by now. How’s that for a metaphor?
Follow me on Twitter @CoryWhitmer for more depressing, yet sarcastic takes on the Rockies and other sports