The Hot Corner: World Series, Theo Epstein, Tim Tebow


 

We've seen better mustaches on Bulgarian gypsy women.

The hottest topics for the week of October 23, 2011 …

Cubs and Sox: Theo Epstein is officially in the Cubs organization. Red Sox fans are sad to see him go – and even sadder that he won’t take John Lackey with him.

Mea Kulpa: In game three, umpire Ron Kulpa made one of the worst calls in World Series history on a play that then sparked a Cardinals rally. When asked about it later, Kulpa said, “I’d be more disturbed if I hadn’t just won ten grand on the game.”

More game three: With three homers and six RBI, Albert Pujols and his mighty bat finally woke up and had a historic hitting performance – earning himself the nickname “Mr. October 22nd.”

All or nothing: In game four, the Cardinals got shut out – the day after scoring 15 runs in game three. If I were the Cardinals, I would have saved some of those runs for the next game.

More game four: Sporting a very creepy mustache, Derek Holland pitched a phenomenal game to even the series. He was taken out in the ninth inning after he was mistaken for a local registered sex offender.

Baby geniuses: In game five, Ron Washington and Tony La Russa put on a clinic in awful game management. I’m having fun trying to guess when they’re using the Ouija board or the 12-sided die.

The rating game: The World Series TV ratings are way down. Maybe now the league will listen to my ideas to incorporate ’80s rock star karaoke, midget strippers, a monster truck rally and Cher.

Coke is it: Demi Lovato was very excited to sing the National Anthem before game five of the World Series for her hometown Texas Rangers – even after she found out that the white powder used to line the field was just chalk.

The Met offensive: To increase scoring excitement, the New York Mets are going to move the outfield fences in. Because losing 10-7 will be much more fun than losing 3-1.

Extra Innings

Resurrected: After being down by 15 points to the Miami Dolphins, Tim Tebow rallied the Denver Broncos to a miraculous win. I know it’s his day off, but you’d think God would have more important things to focus on.

The price is wrong: The Oakland Raiders traded two first-round picks to the Cincinnati Bengals for Carson Palmer, who hasn’t been good for years. We can only assume the trade also involved the Raiders getting a time machine.

More Palmer: Raiders coach Hue Jackson refused to disclose Carson Palmer’s readiness to play on Sunday, continuing the Raider policy of “no snitches.”

Say it ain’t so: Rumors are swirling that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are getting a divorce. No reports yet as to why, but my guess is that he finally had a conversation with her.

Yes We Can: After weeks of protests around the country, the Occupy Wall Street organizers have finally gotten what they wanted. The McRib is back at McDonald’s.

Contributors: Eliza Bayne, Zach Pennington, Glen Hentz

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