Tiger Woods: Get Beltran’s PR firm on the phone

Is Carlos Beltran really worth all the trade-deadline hype? (Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

If I’m professional golfer Tiger Woods, the first call I’m making (if I haven’t already made it!) is to the agent and PR firm of New York Mets outfielder Carlos Beltran.


Because the only thing that’s growing more than Tiger’s negative image is his fu Manchu on his chin.

Woods lost his wife. He lost his children. He lost his endorsements. He lost his golf game. He lost his caddy. He lost his respect.

Meanwhile, Beltran has been made into the next best thing since sliced bread as the July 31 trade deadline approaches in Major League Baseball. Somehow, Beltran’s camp has created an image that he is the missing piece that will undoubtedly propel a team to a World Series championship.

Is Beltran a good baseball player? Yes. Is he a difference-maker who strikes fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers? Hardly.

Beltran is an aging player with bad knees who is at the tail end of his career. While he has posted good numbers this season – 15 homers and 65 RBIs – Beltran is hardly the second coming of the Sultan of Swat.

Chew on these Beltran tidbits:

  • He hasn’t played a full season since 2008 because of injuries.
  • He has only hit 40 homers or more once in his career.
  • He has never driven in more than 116 RBIs.
  • He is a career .282 hitter.

Beltran can’t steal bases any longer. He isn’t a stellar defensive outfielder any longer. If you could plug Beltran into the DH hole on an American League team, that would be ideal.

However, if you believe that Beltran is worth phenom pitcher Zach Wheeler from the San Francisco Giants, young pitcher Julio Teheran of the Atlanta Braves or outfielder Domonic Brown of the Philadelphia Phillies, I’ve got some oceanfront property in Des Moines, Iowa, to sell you!

If I’m the GM of the Braves, Giants or Phillies, I’m definitely going to kick the tires on Beltran. He’s available, and these teams have offensive needs, so why not? But if the Mets think they’re prying my top prospect away for Beltran, they can think again.

The Beltran of 2004-07 would get me excited about this trade deadline. Today’s version of Beltran gets me as excited as an accountant with the latest version of Microsoft Excel.

Hunter Pence and B.J. Upton are players who should get fans of contending teams excited. Neither of these guys will come cheap, but at least they’re still in their prime and won’t be three-month rentals.

The fact that the fans are expected to salivate over the prospect of our team landing Beltran tells us everything we need to know about this year’s trade deadline — it’s just a little more exciting than last July when the Baltimore Orioles traded Will Ohman to the Florida Marlins for Rick VandenHurk.

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