Hit The Deck! Baseball’s tweeps are ranting and raving about goats, chivalry, heat and flossing

In addition to the usual suspects, this week’s edition of Hit The Deck! welcomes 26 new players to the fold (with a couple of dropouts because they were pretty boring this week). In addition to the travel section, I’ve added new categories covering food (very important), pop culture, weather, rants and words of wisdom. As a bonus, I’ve included several pictures direct from postings!

One Hundred and Forty Characters (or less):

What can I say? One-liners are what Twitter is all about.

2Morrow23 Brandon Morrow: Anyone know where to find a goat? We need for for..uh…something special before JoJo takes the mound… A chicken may work in a pinch


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: In honor of Memorial Day, I will be going “Commando” for the rest of the day! Come on out to Bank One for tonight’s action! >>>Excuse me. Chase Field. Where am I???

TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst:  Video of Dirk Hayhurst Striking Out Spring Training (excuse the screaming wife…) http://youtu.be/1-jYO3GqZDI [Don’t be fooled.  Watch starting at 0:18 for hilarity.]

MattAntonelli9 Matt Antonelli: Very random question…how many hours of sleep would you say you get each night on average? > Man, you all are making me feel extremely lazy with all this 5 and 6 hours of sleep talk!

OfficialChevy Chevez Chevy Clarke: the wrong her texted me lol


michael_schlact Michael Schlact: I asked her to be my girlfriend at Fuddrucker’s. Why? Because I was classy like that. My marriage proposal was much better though. I think..


MikeStanton27 Mike Stanton: No need to state the obvious


MattAntonelli9 Matt Antonelli: wtf —> http://yfrog.com/hsy4fraj >>>


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Just hugged an old guy in the lobby. Judging by his panic & anger.. Not a Veteran… RT @SpcStevens: LoMo, make sure u hug a Veteran today!

JGuthrie46 Jeremy Guthrie: With the Ohio State saga in Columbus, they often say the ‘coverup is worse than the crime.’ in this case, the VEST was worse than both.


str8edgeracer C.J. Wilson: Feels great to win another series in tampa…was cracking up watching the Rays get on their bus- they’re flying “grunge casual” to Seattle


JohnKruk_ESPN John Kruk:@PeterMoylan Explain a tweet off…new at all this

PeterMoylan Peter Moylan:@JohnKruk_ESPN Zoolander? It’s a dance off tweet style. My broke ass has nothing else to do when the boys are on the road.

JohnKruk_ESPN John Kruk: Who out there thinks I have a chance against Peter Moylan in a tweet off?

hyphen18 Ryan Rowland-Smith: yep! That was mine, sorry bout the sweat stains, gross.  RT  “@Klattsy@hyphen18 thanks Ryan, try the full link:s827.photobucket.com/albums/zz192/K… cheers!”


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Rrroowrrr (cougar roar) RT @Spookylish LoMo It actually was my bday yesterday (the big 4-0) but I didnt ask 4 a RT bc its spectacularly lame


jfitzgerald31 Justin Fitzgerald: I vote myself most annoying tweeter of the week [During his attempt to reach 1,000 followers after a challenge.]


PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Anyone tailgating yet?? > I am there with bells on waving pom poms every night RT @SVTemily: are you still coming to home games or recovering completely at home?


MattAntonelli9 Matt Antonelli: Just found out Albert Pujols career numbers on May 30th are better than  my career numbers since Little League on every other day of the year


HeathBell21 Heath Bell: Name the only state who’s capital doesn’t have any of the same letters as the state.  Go! >>> Lot of you put the name of the capital and not the state! Congrats to @minhhappyending for getting South Dakota first.

joshspence Josh Spence:Formal apology to @CaseyKelly23. didn’t mean to snake the win today, if u could  find it in your heart to forgive me Id greatly appreciate it

CaseyKelly23 CaseyKelly: @joshspence haha shut up it’s all good mate we won thats what matters

TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: Holy Hasselhoff! What is it with stuff flying at Price’s head tonight? #Rays That’s  scary, really scary. > Don’t worry folks, one of Maddon’s out-of-the-box drills in big league spring training is  flinging jagged bats at us to prepare us. #Rays [After broken bat grazed Price’s head.]

PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: You dont wanna know, i still have nightmares!!! RT @hyphen18: What would it take for @nickgreen20 to follow a brief team mate!

nickgreen20 Nick Green: Depends on who’s asking. U know I follow Australians. RT @hyphen18: What would it take for @nickgreen20 to follow a brief team mate!


toriihunter48 Torii Hunter: My son Torii jr will have his license to drive next week. He wants to drive my car to mall. I told him to catch a yellow cab. Is that bad? > I’m going to get him a tractor with some 24s and a navi system. I really want him to be safe. Lol…..

hanrahan4457 Joel Hanrahan: @toriihunter48 you gotta get him something with some rust on it, and has to be at least ten years old, chicks dig rust haha

toriihunter48 Torii Hunter : @hanrahan4457 I just found a Suzuki Sidekick online for 200 bucks.lol I’m sure he will be coolest kids at the school with that. Lol


BarryEnright54 Barry Enright: Thank goodness those two games are over and we won the 2nd of two! My hands are going to take 30 min to thaw out! #Freezingballs @Aceball > With Baileys? RT @eddiesofficials@BarryEnright54 @Aceball Just head over to #Duffys for some irish coffee

HeathBell21 Heath Bell: I’m going to be tweeting more. I just needed a little time away

PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: #howpeoplethinkishouldbewalking… RT @KNICKdaddy@PeterMoylan What do you call this move…? twitpic.com/53txhn


shannondrayer Shannon Drayer: I am not sure what this says but I think it is about Guti’s catch! RT kamma_tacca I’m sorry by japanese.グティじゃなきゃ捕れない!


jparencibia9 jp arencibia: Anyone have a left thumb they can let me borrow? #notdoingsohotGreat win! Nice to close out the game!


TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: Johnny Damon always dances around the bases like a kid full of sugar at a bowling alley birthday party. Love the zest. #Rays


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: The trick is… U cant stare directly in2 the beard RT @RobiRobbLoMo how was it facing @BrianWilson38? Is he as intimidating as advertised?


michael_schlact Michael Schlact: Welcome to my newest followers. My name is Michael. I’m a pro baseball player. Really, I’m just a normal dude with a cool opportunity.


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: And then what happened? RT @legaleagle88 I used to really like @LoMoMarlins


Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: What a day – 9 and a half hours at the field…. That’s all I’m gonna say


DatDudeBP Brandon Phillips: Good Afternoon… I just got some of the best sleep ever! Now I got to hurry up and get ready to head to the field! #ALLREADY


PeterMoylan Peter Moylan:  Can I swear on twitter????? $&@$&!@@!& yeah brooksy!!!!!!!!! > I guess no one I follow has tweeted in 2 hours.. Twitter issues???


On Travel:

Packing a suitcase and hitting the road can be entertaining, humorous, boring or all of the above. Here’s what some of my favorite tweeps had to say on the topic during the past few days.


nickgreen20 Nick Green: A special thx to my good friend and roomie @SnydRoast29 for allowing me to get my cardio in on this 1+mi. walk to work. #bustimeschanged


MattAntonelli9 Matt Antonelli: Flying sucks —> http://fb.me/uyQyzDZ6



TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: Long day of driving back to Durham tomorrow. Breaking out of extended at long last!


BarryEnright54 Barry Enright: Should I get on this bus? http://lockerz.com/s/106481768 >>>Willy Mo Pena and Andy Tracy sitting together on our small two seater plane! It has Propellers! http://lockerz.com/s/106450352 >>> Sleep sitting now in the Airport. Don’t wakeme #tooearlyhttp://lockerz.com/s/106446006 >>> 5 am bus to Reno airport to catch a 7 am flight to Tacoma. Im sleep walking. No one wake me please #ILovethisGame


JLEWFifty Jensen Lewis: iTunes – thank u for getting me thru these nights in the hotel w a plethora of movie rentals. Ive needed to catch up for awhile!


Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: > I think knowing that you have to wake up at 3:15am not only ruins your morning but the afternoon and night before >>> Hmmm what to do between now and 3… >Zero reason I should be up right now

MattAntonelli9 Matt Antonelli: 5AM flights are almost as fun as a sharp stick in the eye


mattklinker Matt Klinker: Second thing to do after seeing my parents on Monday, give them a huge bag of clothes I had no business packing this season.


For my Tummy:

These growing boys eat like we do – except they manage to stay buff. Chasing balls daily helps.

LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Chocolate chip and Reese pieces, amazing! http://moby.to/gpcyz8


michael_schlact Michael Schlact: CRAB CAKES AND TEXAS COUNTRY!!! THAT’S WHAT MICHAEL SCHLACT DOES!!!! (in maryland)


OfficialChevy Chevez Chevy Clarke: Pocket BK DOUBLE WHOPPER so u know it cheesy


mattklinker Matt Klinker: Waffle House for lunch today. Love this place.


GabySanchez15 Gaby Sanchez: Just woke up to my belly playing music. Where should I eat in Arizona?


BenRevere9 Ben Revere: I’m so happy that there is an Boston market next to my house


Maholm28 paul maholm: Had lunch at Carnegie deli and survived my taxi ride. Life is good.


michael_schlact Michael Schlact: Exactly! RT @BTroudt @michael_schlact haha ring in one hand sweet tea in the other hand?


nickgreen20 Nick Green: yum! chicken and ribs 🙂 RT @angiecole: So close! :p You gonna make it home for dinner @nickgreen20?? 🙂 #wisheshttp://twitpic.com/54qko9


michael_schlact Michael Schlact: WHATTTTTTTTT?!?!?! RT @tedprice: It’s a @michael_schlactspecial: they serve McAlister’s tea at the @IndyIndians ballpark.


Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: Is having pizza for lunch and then again for dinner bad for you?


chopper63 Rich Thompson: KC Starbucks is really on there game! Both visits the year on the money #starbuckstouroftheusa


JLEWFifty Jensen Lewis: Halfway to Norfolk, just landing in ATL. Stomach is in need of fuel – why does a hamburger and fries sound so good right now!? >>> Landed in steamy Norfolk. Outback Steakhouse – hope you’ve got a 12 oz special waiting for me and @theREALdavehuff

PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Just woke up the fiancé accidentally on purpose!!!! Going to eat breakfast. She not happy. Haha



Everyone has something they’d like to get off their chest. Aren’t we lucky they get to share it with us — unfiltered?

DALLASBRADEN209 Dallas Braden: YES! I’d like a when I hold the door open. I don’t want a dollar or a weekend in Tijuana. Chivalry will hit u in the ass w/the door nxt time


str8edgeracer C.J. Wilson: On a side note- also found out people are selling bootleg #throwstrikes shirts online- best part is…charging more than my charity does!


DAVIDprice14 David Price: What do ya know…the parking meter is broken…I bet I get a ticket >>> No these things are designed to break..makes more money RT @driveforfive@DAVIDprice14 oh no. You have bad luck with those things!!! 🙁

ChrisPerez54 Chris Perez: Is everyone forgetting we are 5-4 in our last 9 vs 3 very good teams? Save all the complaints for the Browns


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Yup and it shows in the standings.. Oh wait. RT @mberman94 @LoMoMarlins mets are 10 times better than marlins


Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: Would You rather play in an 80 million dollar stadium downtown or a 15 million dollar stadium in the middle of nowhere? #omahafail


nickgreen20 Nick Green: Feel like I’m in an episode of Teen Mom at the Chinese buffet. Sad sad display of parenting.


dannyvalencia19 Danny Valencia: Nobody likes a tattle tale, it seems like it’s a common trait of a slightly older generation…#yeaisaidit


OzzieGuillen Ozzie Guillen: Allways take stuff out the contest put people in bad situation to people can read then >>>What a hell I going to say bad thing about white sox fan they are behind me all my carrer a less most of then

manbearwolf John Baker: #Comcast you have lot of explaining to do. It’s bad enough I can’t play, now you just f’d up the recording of #TUF and #ModernFamily


PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Man with the new teeth I gotta floss every night!! #extendedbedtimeprep

PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Why does my body think 4 hours of sleep is ok???

str8edgeracer C.J. Wilson: Now after rush hour traffic I’ve got about 20 mins before I’ve got to leave to hit the Rangers Triple Play charity event. 18 mins:pool+sun


Words of Wisdom:

Baseball always has had its share of philosophers.

michael_schlact Michael Schlact: It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. Dare to be great. Go for it!


PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: @LoMoMarlins don’t let them stop u mate. You are hilarious and you know I know funny!!! [After Marlins president expressed concern over LoMo’s tweets.]


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Chicks dig the Long Ball RT @bluesteel522 @LoMoMarlins you have any tips to help me quit smoking?


mrLeCure Sam LeCure: Breathe today, allow yourself to take time for some extra breaths and fill your mind with good thoughts only.


michael_schlact Michael Schlact @TheGarfoose I’m so proud. Make sure the baseball grim reaper stays away. He hides out in the Atlantic League WAYYYY more than the minors.


blawrie13 Brett Lawrie: Everything is going to be ok


The Weather Report:

Who needs The Weather Channel with these guys? Of course, more than any other sport, baseball is impacted by the weather most. You won’t hear these weather insights on TWC.

MarlinsBrewer Blake Brewer: Walking to the mall it’s hott as hell #badidea


OfficialChevy Chevez Chevy Clarke: Its hotter than 4 fat girls with sweatpants on slap boxxin in a closet


str8edgeracer C.J. Wilson: Gorgeous outside today in tampa, but we’re indoors…good day to #throwstrikes


shannondrayer Shannon Drayer: Nice to be back after a great road trip but rain? Really?


JesseCrain Jesse Crain: Is there good weather anywhere? Just got to Toronto and….. Raining!!!


SergioRomo54 Sergio Romo: In stl and its hot outside! Kinda weird considering that it seems everywhere else we’ve played has been freezing or windy! Haha #summershere


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Maybe go outside and cook some eggs on the sidewalk. High of 210 today. RT @WillStanifer LoMo what is there 2 do for ur freetime in arizona?



chaddurbin37 Chad Durbin: Hailing in Westlake, Ohio…Crazy yfrog.com/h22:i8oddj > #hailstorm seems to be over now…with all of the tornadoes lately, I wasn’t 100% comfortable with it. #basement


Pop Culture:

When you’re on the road and in hotel rooms, you tend to have a lot of time. Perhaps, too much time.

thisisdspan Denard Span: I got a confession to make everyone >>> Im watching basketball wives on vh1. Lol These women have problems but this is entertaining. Don’t judge me lol >>> I feel better that I got that off my chest! I feel closer with everyone now lol

michael_schlact Michael Schlact: The Pop2K channel on SiriusXM is like my high school musical yearbook. Each song has some kind of memory attached to it. #timetravel


manbearwolf John Baker: Guys, If you think about answering a casting call to be on the bachelorette – stop, reassess, & change your course. Sincerely, your manhood

LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Blood tests are in… I’m the 4th Kardashian sister. (Does this mean I have to marry a WNBA player?!?)



PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Last tweet tonight guys! Is this Andy dick in drag or Kathygriffin?http://lockerz.com/s/106644581


BarryEnright54 Barry Enright: We are blastin @justinbieber in the weight room getting ready for the game right now! #BieberFever @Aceball getting ready to play #RiverCats


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Wait…Joakim Noah isnt an anorexic sasquatch?!? RT @R_Delval13 @LoMoMarlins QUICK! whos better looking Joakim Noah or Sasquatch? GO!


mattklinker Matt Klinker: Not sure I’m ready for the return of cargo pants. #toosoon


JLEWFifty Jensen Lewis: Just checked out the Maxim Hot 100.. lot of candidates for the future Mrs. Lewis in there haha jk.. can’t believe some of the rankings!


chaddurbin37 Chad Durbin: Quote of the Day: “And I thought they smelled bad…on the outside!”


LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Renee Zellweger….you complete ME RT @ilovebank: Getting a follow from @LoMoMarlins would complete me


OfficialChevy Chevez Chevy Clarke: Yall go listen to @MizSmurffDTE music on livemixtapes.com….. u dont like her… #killyoself lol


nickpiecoro Nick Piecoro : The Astros had players read stadium rules for video board pregame. Then they put it to music & ran it through auto-tune. Result = awesome.


TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: Gosh, Oprah, it’s a last show, not a commencement speech.


PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Scotty won American idol!!!!! Really???

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