Hit The Deck! Baseball’s tweetaholics are not so anonymous

Baseball has a long history of producing memorable quotes from players, managers, owners, fans and reporters. During the “old” days, we’d read these quotes in the paper or see them on video. With rare exception, these quotes were linked to a specific game, play or the game, generally. Now, with new media, we are able to get insight into their views on the world — beyond just baseball — all uncensored. Obscure players, reporters and fans have taken the baseball thread that binds us to become philosophers in their own right. This column will feature the best of the best (at least in my opinion) from current and former major league and minor league players. I encourage readers to make submissions, suggested follows, criticisms, etc.

On Travel:

Packing a suitcase and hitting the road can be entertaining, humorous, boring or all of the above. Here’s what some of my favorite tweeps had to say on the topic during the past few days.

@BarryEnright54 Barry Enright: Woke up this morning in a little haze. Didn’t remember where I was. Walked outside and felt humidity and snapped back to reality REAL quick

@willrhymes Will Rhymes: Today’s reminder I’m back in the minors: couldn’t take a shower at the hotel cause the water was brown… #ifyoudontlikeitplaybetter


@michael_schlact Michael Schlact: Who trapped Woody Woodpecker inside my air purifier?


@LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Just called down to the front desk & asked if they could send up someone to give me a Hug. *silence* …..


@DatDudeBP Brandon Phillips: Just got to the City of Brotherly Love… And it’s crazy how the weather changes in different states! Hmmmm… What’s for dinner? #OnDeck


@DAVIDprice14 David Price: Question…if I’m in the airport and on one of those walkways that move and I just stand as opposed to walk…does that make me lazy?

@nickgreen20 Nick Green: After our 10 hr overnight bus ride & being awakened & by the sound of a chainsaw in the bunk next to me, I understand #DivorcingTheSnorer.


@Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: Lil’ sick spray made the journey! I’m liking this homecoming a lot!

@PeterMoylan Peter Moylan: Unreal. No game on hotel tv and black out on MLB.tv. Having withdrawals


@michael_schlact Michael Schlact: Bus trip Fact: “They” say it’s always sunny in Philadelphia. Wrong. I’m riding through right now. It’s cloudy. You’re welcome.


@str8edgeracer C.J. Wilson: [At Kansas City Airport during delay] Just overheard a guy on the phone say “he wasn’t really a drug dealer, just like a guy who knew where to go” lady across from me and I: LOL


@BarryEnright54 Barry Enright: They are having a Sailboat convention at our Hotel! Haha these things are bada**! http://lockerz.com/s/103295403


@hanrahan4457 Joel Hanrahan: We may never make it to the airport!! Sweet traffic! Ha http://lockerz.com/s/103024648


@ BenRevere9 Ben Revere: AZ weather is money right now. Hopefully MN will be the same when we get back cause I need a tan lol)


@mo56maloney Matt Maloney: The smell in this cab is making me nauseous.


On the Apocalypse … That Wasn’t on May 21:

The apocalypse has been rescheduled, but “we” didn’t know that on May 21. Here’s a sampling:

@mrLeCure Sam LeCure: This too shall pass. And if you’re really down about that game, you aren’t keeping perspective on the fact that ‘the world could’ve ended’


@BSLillibridge Brent Lillibridge: The world has not ended in Chicago! How about you guys on the east coast? West Coast let me know how it turns out! #awkwardforChristianRadio


@TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: And we’re still here…or *gasp* I got left behind? Save me Kirk Cameron, save me!


@DanielJennings2 Daniel Jennings: Is it 6 eastern time the world is ending or 6 central? Anyone know? Please answer within 10 minutes


@willrhymes Will Rhymes:This whole Rapture thing has been pretty lame, I’m going to the field.


@TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: It’s a beautiful day for an Apocalypse here in extended spring training…. where every day makes you wish the world would end.


@hyphen18 Ryan Rowland-Smith: Starting my judgement day off with a grand slam at Denny’s, need a big breakfast and Saving money so I can pay some people off!


@JLEWFifty Jensen Lewis: Sooo the world hasn’t come to an end?? Swing and a miss on that prediction..


@BSLillibridge Brent Lillibridge: Monday always suck having to go back to work after another short weekend. I wonder if #HaroldCamping has the worst case of the “Mondays”


One Hundred and Forty Characters (or less):

What can I say? One-liners are what Twitter is all about.

@TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: I’m a professional baseball player, and I punch like a girl for the sake of my job. #nerdendorsments


@LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Peter Northstars RT @JakeAxelrod: @LoMoMarlins any ideas for LoMo themed fantasy baseball names #MrOBP


@DatDudeBP Brandon Phillips: Tonight is a night to loosen up… Reds fans, it’s time to get wasted and I’m getting chocolate wasted… LMAO! Who’s with me? #ALLREADY


@JGuthrie46 Jeremy Guthrie: I think #bachelorette needs to take page out of Survivor book & provide a redemption island for castaways. #SecondChances #Poise


@BrianWilson38 Brian Wilson: Another day off in the books.Just your average swim to Alcatraz w/ shark feed tied to my ankles.Gonna spend the night.Swim to work tomorrow.


@nickgreen20 Nick Green: Whoopi, after years and years, your fashion trend never caught on. You can toss the hideous outfits and shoes already. It will be ok.


@TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: LinkedIn was supposed to make me rich, powerful, and influential, but it feels like facebook with more resume’s and less baby pictures…


@JoseCanseco Jose Canseco: I am her night in baseball armor [on Lady GaGa]


@JohnAxford John Axford: Goodnight tweeps. My mustache needs to take a little mustache snooze and dream of other mustaches! Keep #staching!


@LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: Chat rooms still exist? Now u see why Im weary of guys w/ shirtless Avatars. Dont need my Twitter transcript ending up in @ChrisHansen hands


@Peteypipes Bryan Petersen: I just hit the motherload http://twitpic.com/50ot13


@brett_hayes Brett Hayes: Zoolander good! RT“@bigpunisher305: @brett_hayes how good does the squad look this year brett and hope you have a good season”


@dannyvalencia19 Danny Valencia: Shoutout to everyone who is over 21 and never uses an alarm clock ever!! #jealoustweet


@michael_schlact Michael Schlact: To honor this week’s #FF, I’m gonna follow a kid wearing velcro shoes around all day and repeatedly tell him that his shoes are untied.


@JohnKruk_ESPN John Kruk: No get the story right, I retired because my knees would not allow me to.play the game the right way!!! Now who is the bum?


@ TheGarfoose Dirk Hayhurst: One of these days, when I retire and can write what I want about the actions of today’s athletes, this twitter feed will get very popular.


@LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison: My junk drawr makes it hard 2 shop 4 jeans RT @jennifersterger: A “junk drawer” is a gateway drug. Starts w 1 then u find urself on Hoarders

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