Iso-Stars #1: Batting-average behemoths

Iso-Stars is a series of all-MLB teams composed of fantasy performers that represent each of the standard 5×5 roto categories (even though fantasy connoisseurs and statistical avant garders frown upon such leagues).  Each list presents the top projected 2011 contributors at every position in a particular roto stat category, regardless of the players’ performances across other fantasy stat categories.  Also, each “All-Stat” team will be coupled with an “All-Something-Ridiculous” team to lighten the mood.  You’ll see.

The 2011 All-Average Team

In terms of average, these guys are well above average.  Masters of frozen ropes, Texas leaguers, and hit-and-runs.  They find the gaps and hit ‘em where they ain’t.

C – Joe Mauer: No contest.  He’s a career .327 hitter and has, in fact, never batted below .327 in a season in which he’s had 500+ at-bats.

1B – Albert Pujols: Despite a “down” 2010 (.312), Prince Albert’s .350+ ceiling, contract year (yikes), and the fact that .312 is his worst full-season AVG ever give him the edge over Votto and Boozy Cabrera.  He’ll be turning up on a lot of these lists.

2B – Robinson Cano: A hitter in his prime, it is now apparent that 2008’s .271 was an anomaly.  Pedroia is too up-and-down, Prado is OF/3B now, and Infante is a flash-in-the-pan.

3B – Martin Prado: Though either David Wright or the spherical Pablo Sandoval could take the cake here with a comeback year, Prado is the most consistent guy right now, and should retain 3B eligibility on top of his new OF due to a still-gimpy Chipper.

SS – Hanley Ramirez: With a batting title and 4 straight .300+ seasons, Han-Ram is a steadier option than the improving Tulowitzki.  No one else is really close, though Starlin Castro could challenge soon.

OF – Ichiro Suzuki: Come on, like this is debatable?  In 10 seasons, Ichiro has never batted lower than .303 and has four .350+ years.  Average-wise, he is the best hitter in baseball.

OF – Matt Holliday: He hasn’t batted lower than .312 in the past 5 years, and though his power numbers have dipped out of Coors, his contact ability remains superb.

OF – Ryan Braun: Magglio and Manny are aging, Josh Hamilton and Car-Go cancel each other out with their on-again, off-again AVG performance.  Braun is slightly more consistent and has two .320 seasons in the past four years.  I acknowledge this is up for debate.

and now for something completely different…

The 2011 All-Porn-Name Team

C – Buster Posey, Giants

1B – Steve Pearce, Pirates

2B – Kelly Johnson, D-Backs

3B – Chase Headley, Padres

SS – J.J. Hardy, Orioles

OF – Kosuke Fukudome, Cubs

OF – B.J. Upton, Rays

OF – Grady Sizemore, Indians

SP – Madison Bumgarner, Giants; Doug Fister, Mariners; R.A. Dickey, Mets; Rich Harden, A’s

RP – Jason Bulger, Angels; Randy Choate, Marlins; Jimmy Gobble, Free Agent; Kerry Wood, Cubs

Please offer your outraged rebuttals and counter-proposals for members of both teams in the comments below. I also encourage you to come up with taglines for individual members of the porn name team.


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  1. Ha true, bloodstripes, true. That name is more unbeatable than ripken’s iron man record. If we had a veterans team, we could probably snag Dick Grote, Rollie Fingers, Wee Willie Keeler and a few others.

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